Time Out

I have always been very careful with the way I discipline Ashley. I avoid using cane to great extend. I tried everything the parenting books recommended and I was successful....until now.

When Ashley was young, I always use the distraction and avoidance methods to control any potential tantrum outburst. Distraction method has proven to be very effective at the initial stage when she was so curious. If she wants something in the mall, just offer her another distraction, e.g. a ride, an apple from the trolley and she will "forget" about her wants and thus avoiding the tantrum. If I know that some places will cause her too much distraction, e.g. toy section in the mall, I will avoid going to those places when my time is limited and I am tired. Well, all worked fine and great until recently. Ashley is finally in the terrible 2 stage. I never believe there is such a stage. "It is all in the way you train the child", was what I would always say. Boy oh boy, how wrong I was. You name it, I've tried them all. I always have snacks in my bag, paper and pen are the essentials whenever we go out, I tried playing games with her, brought her favourite toys, but nothing could "distract" her no more.

I was at my wits end yesterday when Ashley misbehaved during lunch with a friend. I was so upset with her that I lashed out blames on hubby. Hubby was in a defensive mode and told me that it was all my own doing because I was too lenient with her and it is about time to bring out the rotan. His comment made me angrier and I brought out the rotan during dinner and tried to "force" my way onto Ashley. I never hit her with the cane though, just threaten her. Still that didn't work and I sent her off to her room. I thought that would not work because I have never tried time-out with her. I was so surprised that she actually stayed in the room. When I turned the tv on, she sneaked out quietly to ask if she could watch tv with me and I told her sternly, that was a no because she is still being punished. I was very very surprised when she turned and ran back to her room and went to sleep an hour later. I checked on her later that night. Her eyes were puffy from crying. She looked so innocent and angelic. I was so upset with myself for being so hard on her. I think she is ready for time-out now. It is definitely less traumatizing and a more "diplomatic" way to discipline a child, not forgetting for me too. I will reserve the rotan for some other occasion instead. I really hope this method of discipline works because I never want to feel guilty over over-disciplining a child.

Aih.....perils of a young mother.