Relationship, it's hard work isn't it?

Today I visited my friend who is going through a rough patch in her marriage. I was nervous as I made the arrangement to meet up with her. Should I make it a relaxing visit with no mention of the marital problem or should I help her open up her heart and release the tension building inside? I was worried if I will make things worst by saying the wrong things at wrong time. In the end, I didn't do any of those things I planned. Instead we just sat and talk about the kids. I wouldn't say alot had been of being accomplished in this visit, but at least she had a couple hours of "something-out-of-the-routine" moments.

I reflected on the little things that we've touched on about marriage life. Indeed, having a strong marriage is not easy, especially for our generation and specifically here in Australia. Alot of people still grew up in a typical Asian culture where the husband holds the veto power in family affairs. Yet, at the same time, women have become empowered, through education and the influence of western culture which promotes individual rights and independence. When east and west meets, conflict of opinion is bound to happen and if things aren't dealt with wisely, marriage breakdown is sure to follow suit. I sympathize with my friend deeply for she was trapped in such a situation. I thought of no words to say without offending either culture.

I think all individuals in a marriage needs to have his or her own support group. Just by having someone they can share their innermost thoughts can ease alot of tension and pain. Misunderstanding can cloud one's mind and most times, the deceiver will use such times to break up relationships. Preferably, this friend shouldn't be confidant of the other marriage partner. The other important key to a good marriage is to actually "leave" the parents and cling on to the husband or wife. The Bible is so wise to include that verse in it's content. It is by no means not being filial but it is more of a shift of priority. There are of course other keys to having a great marriage but the ultimate KEY would be to have God as the Center of the marriage. When God is placed at His rightful place, everything else will come together.

Things might not look promising for my friend right now. But I am encouraged they have taken the "Christian" approach to resolve their issues, by going to the pastor for counseling. Perhaps, with a godly guidance and right perspective, their marriage will be one that lasts for a lifetime. Amen.